Some of the funniest lines ever came from George Carlin.
While I did find all of his Atheistic, Anti-God and religion talk offensive, he was still a very dry wit that made me laugh most of the time.
I hope he found grace and peace in eternity.....
Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect.
When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
It's never just a game when you're winning.
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
When someone is impatient and says, "I haven't got all day," I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?
Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.