The Story of My Life

I remember being in a spelling bee- several times. I was always a good speller. Little Man, not so much as I have written of before. He is getting better this year with an EXCELLENT teacher and some maturity and initiative. He wants to be in his class spelling bee and as much as I discouraged him like the good parent I am, he insists. We studied some words tonight. Biscuit. I said that I remembered how that word troubled me as a child. He said, "OH MOM, that one is so easy." Ready...... Bisget . Of course. Bis-GET. Just like it sounds.

A Discussion of Politics Over Breakfast: "Do you know what the presidents is?" "Um, yep... Mama. The President of the United States but, what does that mean?" "It means he is the "boss" of our country, he is in charge." "Oh, then he gets to eat WHATEVER he wants! Is it a girl or a boy?" " A boy." "Oh no! I do not like boys." At Preschool, her class had Ed's Pet World (Homewood) come and bring pets during this past PET week. She held a snake, a scorpion, a baby alligator, a parrot, a tarantula. Last night, she ran from her room screaming BLOODY murder. She was holding her arm outstretched and I full well expected to find a large gaping wound due to the crying and screaming she was creating. It was a lady bug on her finger. I said, after all you held at school today???? She said, "I didn't hold ANY BUGS. I hate bugs." A little boy was trying to bully her at the football game. I was watching from afar...

"Hey Mom! I got to say "The Lord's Prayer" after football practice." "Oh, baby! That is great!" "Yeah, Coach said I hit someone so hard that I made them cry- so I got to lead the prayer!"

Start a new job and the inevitable will happen. 1. Children with horrible rash- virus thing that looks like leprosy. Emergency Pediatric visit. Anyone ever heard of Fifths? Not contagious when the rash appears, just the 10 days before.....with No symptoms. 2. One child throws up. 3. Said child throws up again, in my car. 5 times before getting stopped. 4. Had to clean and bleach LOTS of things. Pretty much the entire house and car, all linens and surfaces. You know, the germ freak I am. Both little darlings still have horrible rash. 5. Miss 2nd day of work because child still throws up. Take Both kids to doctor again. 6. Neighbor and Paw Paw keep sick child as I attempt to go to work. 7. Am late for for work when I can return due to traffic, train and life.....and more throw up... Pull muscle in shoulder while at work under a desk in high heels in a skirt. 8. Children still have horrible rash. Another dr. visit. 9. Run over child's scooter with car. Scooter is lodged out of ass-en...

"Welcome to Mommy's Kitchen...can I take your breakfast order?" I made the mistake of speaking these words into the microphone of this.... as I was bringing it from the car up the stairs when asking my little girl what she wanted for breakfast. So Now, she won't answer me unless I speak into the microphone. "Would you like cream cheese or jelly or both with your bagel?" "No, Mom, in there.....say it in there...." "WOULD YOUOOOO LIKE CREAMMMMCHEESE....." At least I will have practice when I get that drive thru job. And we do not even use all the credit cards, money and product code cards that came with the $50 thing.....we use it as a microphone. Oh, looks like it will be a long day....... but on the upside-- it kinda makes me feel like I am one cruise ship....you know... "Lido deck special- Banana Royals in Real Coconuts-- with Umbrellas- 2 for one..."

My son called binoculars "occucameras". He called taxi's-- tackies- and would point to a beat up car or a painted, "fixed-up" car.....I pointed to one once and commented that it was tacky. So he was confused. He called ants- "Jo's" because his aunt's name was Jo. Called chanukah -Harmonica. Tries to be politically correct- calls African Americans, Native Americans Called Scissors, electrical outlets, and bugs "biteyous " Called Pickles "Frogs" Said his favorite food was chicken, not real chicken with faces that live in a barnyard, but the kind you EAT. Called the ATM the money station, as opposed to the gas station ----He is almost 9 now.....They grow up so fast.

I have been saying that my son is the sweet one..... Evidence #1: Son's homework is missing. Friday morning, finally find homework under my bed with about 100 holes poked in it with a pencil. Ask daughter if she knew anything about it. She smiled and said "You found it?". I Said yes and that it was ruined and that it was not a very nice thing to do. She said, "Next time, I hide it somewhere else."

10. Attempt to Get Sharpie marker off of a couch, wall, canvas portrait and a child's face. (Not all the same day. My daughter has a Sharpie issue and is obviously a slow learner. Or I am, one.) 9. Grab the Kids's Dora toothpaste in the night instead of the Desitin Ointment. 8. Clean up baby throw up out of a BMW with leather seats and stop to buy a $5.oo travel size Lysol spray at a Chevron. (My best friends'new car, Thank God.) (Thank God, it was not mine or that she was my best friend???) 7. Try to sweep and mop up a whole bottle of baby powder from a hardwood floor. I like an idiot, tried mopping first. 6. "Honey, do you think we can get a wall installed in my SUV, like those in the police cars, so I so not have to hear them on road trips??" (To husband) 5. Laugh at the joke, "If you are American in the living room, what are you in the Bathroom?" ( a Eur-o-pean) 4. Toss offending items out a moving car window during a road trip. (Loud Happy Meal toy...

I have so many ideas for posts that I am working on, but just can't seem to focus on one today. My daughter went home with my sister and brother to spend the night so it has been very quiet and productive. I have to say I do miss her. The family took Sally because I had to go to the doctor today. I get treatment every 6 weeks for my previously discussed medical condition, IV- 4 hours of reading Cosmo. I call it my spa day- well minus the needles. It is a beautiful spring-like day. My son and his friends just packed a lunchbox full of food to go to their fort in the woods. I recall doing the same thing. Building forts, whitling sticks, digging holes. My son is an outdoorsy, country-living kind of guy. I never have to worry about him curling up in front of the TV or video game or computer for very long...unless it is after dark and I make him come in. So he is loving the sunshine. My dad, PawPaw, is taking Baby Girl out to dinner and them meeting me half way between our houses to bri...

I am a saver of sentimental things. I have these rules, still saved on my computer, transferred from various, many computers over the last 8 years. Rules, I, obsessive-compulsive first-time mother, left for my Nanny when I went back to work after my son was born. My Nanny, whom I may add, was my favorite 1st cousin, super-intelligent, also "slightly"obsessive compulsive, wonderfully talented child-care provider. Why she accepted the job as nanny for a crazy woman is beyond me. This is the actual document I printed and hung on the fridge for her, to just to be helpful. (No joke here.) ( Comments added later in Blue .) Daily Schedule for BabyScott August 1999 Washing/Sterilizing bottles: Look in Baby’s room, living room and my room for empty bottles from the night. ( Bottles are the cylindrical clear objects on the counter) As you use a bottle, rinse with hot water and put in big plastic pan of soapy water. Sterilize bottles in the morning and make up all bottles for the day...

2 Perfect Spelling Papers...... My son is not a straight A student. Not because he is not capable, but other perfectly explainable reasons, like playing outside, and not caring. His first report card this year, he har Far from an A in Spelling. In fact, the letter on the F ar other end of the grading scale F rom A, i F you know,what I mean. He improved some with the Christmas grading period, but since then..... WOW!!! TWO Perfect papers. How is this possible, you may ask??? A new way of studying.... And I just happen to say, "I will give you $20 for every perfect spelling paper." That was 2 papers ago........

I have been thinking about my blog and what to write. I, of course, started with my children. Sally just turned 4 and we had her party this weeke nd. Here is the birthday girl... then and now. My how time flies. We had a huge party with family and friends and she wanted to have it at home. Believe me it is the last time we will have a party at home. We had 2 cakes- a huge Star Mountain Dora one- chocolate. Then a regular sheet cake, white with strawberry filling, exactly as the birthday princess ordered. All her neighborhood and lifelong friends came as well as her cousins and aunts. Auntie Marci made Sally the cutest birthday dress and she was so excited....up at 6AM. PawPaw was smart and waited until after the party and came for dinner. Most of the family hung around for dinner- Tortuga's . ( In case you didn't know, the pizza is the best we have found here). Well the best, except for my husband's. AlabamaAl, originally from Chicago, has PERFECTED the Chicago style pizza ...