Things I Never Thought I Would Say or Do --(V.1 Regarding Children)

10. Attempt to Get Sharpie marker off of a couch, wall, canvas portrait and a child's face.

(Not all the same day. My daughter has a Sharpie issue and is obviously a slow learner. Or I am, one.)

9. Grab the Kids's Dora toothpaste in the night instead of the Desitin Ointment.

8. Clean up baby throw up out of a BMW with leather seats and stop to buy a $5.oo travel size Lysol spray at a Chevron. (My best friends'new car, Thank God.) (Thank God, it was not mine or that she was my best friend???)

7. Try to sweep and mop up a whole bottle of baby powder from a hardwood floor. I like an idiot, tried mopping first.

6. "Honey, do you think we can get a wall installed in my SUV, like those in the police cars, so I so not have to hear them on road trips??" (To husband)

5. Laugh at the joke, "If you are American in the living room, what are you in the Bathroom?"

( a Eur-o-pean)

4. Toss offending items out a moving car window during a road trip. (Loud Happy Meal toy, sticky gummy lizard from Cracker Barrel, CD with ugly song)

3. Order a Happy Meal Toy off Ebay because we missed it in the series.

2. Have a child to lose 3 toothbrushes in 3 nights. Punish said child. Find the toothbrushes the next day is little sister's toybox.

1. "Honey, Please do not answer the door buck naked." ( To both children......or husband???)